If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem.
If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
-- John Paul Getty

I want to thank all my friends and other unknown people who have forwarded chain letters to me over the years. Because of your kindness:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out that it's good only for removing toilet stains.

I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS

I smell like a wet dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.

I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they may ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.

I also stopped drinking water outside for fear that I will get sick from the rat shit and urine.

When I go to parties, I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take me to a hotel, drug me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. (Poor girl! she's been 7 since 1993

My free Nokia phone never arrived and neither did the free passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.

Made some Hundred wishes before forwarding those Dalai Lama, Ganesh Vandana, Tirupathi Balaji pics etc.. Now most of those "Wishes" are already married (to someone else)!

I no longer work as thanks to all automatic referrel system & easy money making schemes, I am a millionaire.

I have stopped opening email attachments as it will delete all my mails, addresses & finally crash my computer.

You can add your own notes based on your similar experience and send them to your friends.

If ORKUT deletes my account, it doesn't matter BUT PLEASE DON'T SEND me "Orkut is deleting accounts: Due to sudden rush..." Otherwise I WILL DELETE MY ORKUT account!

IMPORTANT NOTE: If you do not send this e-mail to at least 20 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will shit on your head today.

Give me a break!!

Just like all the previous ones, this was too was forwaded to me. And you should send this to as much people you can. :)

A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest.

She lies down on the bed... just then, an elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she's thrown out of the bed.

Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she's pitched to the floor.

Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he'll be right up.

The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true.

"Look... lie here on the bed -- you'll be thrown right to the floor!"

So he lies down next to the wife. Just then the husband walks in. "What," he says, "are you doing here?"

The manager calmly replies, "Would you believe I'm waiting for a train?"

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The New York Times building is struck by lightning in New York June 10, 2008.

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An outbreak of blue-green algae is seen on the coastline of Qingdao, the host city for sailing events at the 2008 Olympic Games, in eastern China's Shandong province Tuesday June 24, 2008. The Qingdao government has organized 400 boats and 3000 people to help remove the algae after Olympic organizers ordered a cleanup. Experts say the algae is a result of climate change, and recent heavy rains in southern China, according to the Xinhua news agency.

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A child plays among sarees out for drying at a cotton saree factory in the outskirts of the southern Indian city of Hyderabad June 12, 2008. Saree is a traditional dress for Indian woman.

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Brazilian model Luiza Brunet wears a creation by Poko Pano during the Sao Paulo Fashion Week in Sao Paulo, Sunday, June 22, 2008.

Teacher - Ramu, kal class mein kyun nahi aaye the?
Ramu - Gir gaya tha or lag gayi thi.
Teacher - Kidher gir gaye the or kidher lag gayi thi?
Ramu - Char paaye pe gir gaya tha 
  aur ankhe lag gayi thi.

Q: The three words men hate to hear most during sex:
A: "Are you in?"
Q: The three words women hate to hear most during sex:
A: "Honey, I'm home!"

Never be sad for missing whatever you expected
but be happy since God made you to realize
that those expectations are not worth in ur life.

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those
  who cannot read and write,
but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn.